Weekend Assignment #291: It didn't work

I don't like when things don't work. I get very angry when I spend my time putting something together and it doesn't work. Especially since it takes me ten times longer than the average person to put anything together. Much like Peter Brady, I'm not mechanically inclined. Karen wants to dredge up bad feelings in this week's assignment:

Weekend Assignment: #291: Sooner or later, everyone buys, is given or otherwise acquires something that just doesn't work as expected. Tell us about that useless, broken, fraudulent, glitchy, disappointing acquisition.

Extra Credit: Did you eventually end up with something that worked?

I had some trouble coming up with a good story for the week. I know I've had many things not work, but I couldn't come up with anything good. I have several examples of kid's toys that didn't work as advertised. (When did Hot Wheels stuff becomes so poorly made?) But, nothing of mine; until I looked into the yard. Then the anger flowed back into my memory banks.

A few years ago I bought a new lawn mower. I won't mention the brand, let's just call it a "Zorro." I bought the new Zorro because the lawn mower I had was a little old and didn't cut very well. Or run very well. So, I brought home the box that the Zorro was in and set out the parts. There weren't many things to put together, just the handle and maybe the wheels. I think that is right.

I checked the instructions to see what needed to be added to make it run. All it said to do was put gas and add the oil that came in the box. No problem I can do that. I think I was done and ready to go in 20 minutes. I was feeling good about myself. Now it was time to cut grass and try the sucker out.

I pulled the handle to get the motor purring. No dice. I expected that, though. The thing was brand new and I expected it to be a bit difficult to start. Pull again, and again, and again. Each pull was raising my blood pressure a little higher. Not because of exertion. I can't remember how many times I pulled that stupid cord, but it did start eventually, but it didn't stay running. No, why would a brand new Zorro start and stay running on the first day? That's silly.

I don't know how long I kept working at it, but I eventually gave up and used the old mower. The one that didn't cut well or run well, ran better than the new Zorro. I was not a happy camper.

I can't remember now how I figured out the cause of problem. But it boiled down I followed the directions. See, for whatever reason, there was already oil in the mower. I over-filled it and messed it up. It had about double the amount of oil it should and it wouldn't run properly. I was able to get some out and get it going eventually (not the same day of course) but I was still ticked off. My guess is, someone bought it and put the oil in and returned it, though I could be wrong. Maybe the company was trying to screw with me.

This is why I need a handy man to live in our shed. It would make my life much easier.