Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Commercials of the future

I'm working the overnight shift again this week. No, I'm not looking for sympathy. Well, okay, maybe a little. Anyway, on this shift the TVs in the office (yes, we have TVs playing news channels or the Weather Channel) play the best commercials. I love a ridiculous commercial for a terrible product. But tonight it got me thinking, what will commercials be like in the future.

Imagine them 20 years from now. Sure, they'll be in 3d, so that is a benefit, I guess. Now when they have a commercial for a product that will make it easier to type on the computer, you can see the person acting out how difficult it is to type the old fashioned way by falling out of the chair and seemingly into your house. I mean, I can't count how many times I've fallen on my chair due to the extreme effort it takes to type. That is why we will all just speak into a microphone to type. (Yes, I know there is software out there now, but this will be cheap stuff that will really suck.)

Now, let's go farther. say 50 years. Now we are at holographic TV. The actors will be in your living room, hopefully not your bathroom you weirdo, and telling you how much simpler your life would be if you had a robot doing everything for you. Look how hard it is for this man to cut his lawn that just appeared in your house. He just tripped over a branch, the lawn mower shot out ahead and ran over poor Skippy the dog. If he had a robot to do his work that would never happen. Robot XG-5 constantly scans for branches in it's way and throws them into your neighbor's yard. What is your neighbor going to do about it? Robot XG-5 also knows Kung Fu. Plus, he's made of bullet proof steel.

You know how hard it is to fix a leaky roof with out plummeting to your death like the hologram just did a belly flop on to your living room floor? Well, Robot XG-5 can fall from a height of 50 feet without any damage. Just make sure everyone is in the house since they will most likely be killed if a 300lb robot fell on them. Better yet, leave the house all together. I'm not sure the roof will hold Robot XG-5 and he may end up on poor Skippy will he chews his bone in front of the TV. (Poor Skippy is having a bad day).

Now let's skip 500 years. Now the commercials are pumped right into your brain. Wirelessly. Remember how it too forever to get to Alph Ceti 6 to visit the in-laws? Half the time your dog Skippy would die on the way and have to be ejected out into space. (In the future dogs can't be put into suspended animation. I don't know why, I'm just making this up as I go along!) That's no way to travel. Plus the Cryo-sleep really does a number on you hair, not to mention your liver. There must be an easier way.

Of course there is, this is the future after all. The new Galaxy 1200XL will get you there in a fraction of the time thanks to the new Relativity Drive. Now, with a push of the button you leave this reality, skip through multiple dimensions, then end up back in ours right at your grandmother's doorstep, so to speak. No Cryo-sleep. You arrive fresh without the need to eject a dead pet, or relative, into space. It's just that easy. There is a small chance you might go insane while traversing the other dimensions, but you'll get there faster! Order Today!

Okay, maybe I shouldn't post in the middle of the night...

1 comment:

Dreamybee said...

LOL-I love it! Tired of your dead relatives getting stuck in your trash ejector chute in the middle of your vacation? Having trouble remembering the names of all the pets you go through every time you have to visit the in-laws? Tired of your friends making fun of your Cryo-sleep hair and ill-functioning liver? Then the Galaxy 1200XL is for you!