Why my son doesn't want to change schools

Our kids go to a Lutheran school close to our house. We didn't send them to the public school down the block because the kindergarten schedule wasn't going to work for us. Then, once our son was set there, we decided to keep going. Why change if they like it, right?

Well, since it is the end of the school year we get to see a lot of the stuff they did in class that hasn't come home yet. One project was titled, "Why I Go to a Lutheran School." He wrote the expected stuff about teachers and God, etc. The kicker was the closing:

"I want to stay here because I don't want to go to a school that worships the devil."

So there you have it, people. If you don't go to a Lutheran school you worship the devil. Hey, I didn't say it. Don't get mad at me.

Aren't the last days of school fun?

I used to be a star

Yes, more old pictures. Aren't you glad we bought a scanner a few months ago? Here's me, back in fifth grade as Jim McShay, host of the White Whirl of Sorts. At least I think that's what it was called. It was a long time ago you know.

How did I get this awesome gig? Was it my rugged good looks? Charisma? Nope. It was my memorization skills. Seriously. I remember my teacher saying he needed someone who could memorize a lot of dialouge so they could act as the host of the show. So, I got my big (only) acting break because of my ability to memorize a lot of words. Yeah.

Actually, I don't think he really meant it that way and I certainly didn't take it that way at the time. I don't think I have every been so nervous and excited all at the same time. Do you know what is a bad idea before a big show like this? A pot luck dinner. I really though I was going to toss up the cucumber salad in the locker room as I got dressing in my sport jacket. I was a fake sport show host, I had to wear a sport jacket.

I don't remember everything about this show (again, long time ago), but I do remember one part clearly. See, the teacher, Mr. Ford, came up with the idea to make an 'Applause' sign for the bit where we ran into technical difficulties and had to have someone come out to tell jokes. By the way, the technical difficulties bit killed. Anyway, it was going great, the silly jokes were working; then it happened. I don't remember the joke but the punchline included the word delicatessen and the other kid couldn't remember how to say it. So, instead of bringing the crowd to it's knees by flashing the 'Applause' sign, I panicked and tried to help him remember the word. Nobody in the audience knew about the sign so they didn't notice my failure, but I did. But,after a few bourbons, I got over it. (Ha, kidding. It was scotch).

Overall, the show was a lot of fun. At least as much as I can remember. Which is kind of funny since I got the part due to my memorization skills. I was also the wizard in The Wizard of Oz and got to ride bicycle built for two on around the gym during a talent show on two different shows over the course of my junior high years.

So, yes, I used to do theater stuff, but only in grade school. I had a lot of fun, but never did anything after that. Well, except when I was an extra in Lucas. But I've already talked about that.

I hope these old photos and stories aren't getting old. I've been enjoying going through this old stuff and talking about them.

We went to an auction last night, now we are broke

Last night we went to an auction for the kid's school and church. It was the first time I was at one, and I think the first one that Jenn went to one where she was a guest and not running it in some capacity. I could be wrong about that last part, but Jenn is in bed and I can't ask her now.

We had a good time. Jenn was smart about it and got some people together from our son's class so we could be at a table where we know some people. Also, the other people had been at this event before so we could ask them questions. We probably should have asked them more.

This auction was part silent and part live. A dangerous mix, if I may say so myself. When we first got there we checked out the silent auction goodies to see what kind of things we liked. Turns out we liked a lot of things. There was the usual things, dinner certificates, wine tasting, various food and personal services, some hotel stays, some sports trinkets and some things made by the various grades.

On the live auction side, there were more things made by the various classes, principal for the day, dinner with the pastor and a motorcycle riding day with a bunch of people. Jenn wanted to try for the flag that our daughter's class made since it would go in the kid's play room. Our son wanted us to get the principal for a day for him. He said we could spend $1000 on it for him. How nice of him to set a limit for us.

It turned out we didn't win any of the live auction items. The principal for a day went for a few hundred more than we were willing to spend as did the painting. The dinner with the pastor went for over $2000. That better be one hell of a dinner! (Hiyoooo)

As I said, this was my first auction and I didn't know what to expect at all. With it being run by the school and church I thought it might be a little on the stuffy side. I couldn't have been more wrong. The Vicar in charge of the youth ministry ran the auction along with the 5th grade teacher, and they were great. The kept it lively, funny and entertaining the whole time, which couldn't have been easy since it ran for about 2 hours. Maybe more.

It was fun watching people get caught up in the bidding, though nobody went crazy, but I was terrified of pointing out anybody to Jenn so they wouldn't think I was bidding on anything. I didn't want to be on the hook for 700 bucks for something we didn't want, good cause or no. Every time I had to rub my eyes or scratch my forehead I felt like I should hide under the table. That would have been one expensive scratch. (That's what she...oh, forget it).

So while we didn't win any live auction items, we weren't so luck in the silent auction. When it was over and Jenn gave me the list of things we bid on to see what we won. The list was long, but she told me not to worry too much. Well, I started to get worried as I kept circling things we had won. I think I stopped and eight things, two of which were hotel stays, and went back to Jenn in line. I told her we were in trouble. When Jenn got the file folder that was bulging with our receipts in there, I knew we were in deep trouble. Two trips to the car later, we were heading home with a lot of things we didn't need. A basket of beanie babies, two different pet baskets, a training session, two baskets of school related gear...the list goes on. Imagine if we did win the two other things.

But, hey, it's all for a good cause, right? Plus, we did get most things below their value. Besides, it's not like we pay tuition...oh, wait...

It was a fun night though. Next time we just have to not get caught up in the deal, just get stuff we really wanted. Like that original picture made by Tom Skilling. That would have been cool.

In a completely unrelated matter, I witnessed first hand to how a dog reacts when his leg falls asleep. It was pretty funny. It involved a little jumping, spinning around in circles and finally plopping on the floor afraid to get back up. He's okay now, in case you were worried.

"I hate the first week of school"

The funny thing about the title is that the quote is not from the kids. Jenn said that tonight as we were watching Wipeout. Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Self, how could the first week of school be hard for the parents?" My answer is; you don't have kids, do you?

Let me explain. The first week brings a few things to stress about, especially if your kids are little. On the first day you have to make sure they get to the right room and, once they are there, that they stay there without crying or clinging to you like a baby lemur. (Lemurs cling, right?)

Not to mention that these kids haven't been to school in over two months. Do you think they are going to get up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 6:30am? No. Even though you might have one child who gets up that time everyday during the summer and comes and wakes you up to feed him. That first week you will have to drag him out of bed. Literally, probably.

You know what is fun to do during that first week? Count how many times you say, "Please, put your clothes on!" Or some variation of that. Then count how many times you swear to yourself as you walk away. I swear one day I'm going to send them to school with their pajamas on when it's not pajama day. That'll show them.

The evenings are also fun. Even though they have been exhausted and laying partially comatose on the couch since they've been home from school, they are now way too awake to go to sleep. Or, better yet, they are too tired to go upstairs to sleep. Maybe they'll have enough energy after this last episode of Spongebob. And brushing teeth? Well, you may as well ask them to lift they house off the foundation. That would take about as much energy.

So, yes we are excited about this first week of school! Yay School! Woo!

I need to go lie down.

Weekend Assignment #267: 30 years ago

Karen and her husband are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary this week. Congrats, Karen! So, she wants to know what the rest of us were doing 30 years ago. 

Weekend Assignment #267: On Tuesday, John and I will have been married to 30 years. If you're old enough to remember the late 1970s, please tell us what you were up to way back then. If not, pretend I asked about the late 1980s. If you're too young to that, I'll be very surprised, but go ahead and tell me about your life in the late 1990s!

After doing a little math, I figured out I was in 4th grade 30 years ago. It wasn't my best year in school. Not that I remember a whole lot, I just know that I got screwed with my teacher. 

My brother is three years older than me, and when he was in fourth grade he loved his teacher. I guess she was really nice and helpful. So I was looking forward to it over the summer. Then the bad news came. That teacher left, but that wasn't the worst part. The replacement was my old nemesis from kindergarten. 

I know what you're thinking (a little Magnum PI reference there for ya), how could I have a nemesis in kindergarten, let alone one who is a teacher. Let me just tell you, her and I didn't see eye to eye. We never got along. I don't know why, or what I did. She just had little patience for me, and, believe me, you needed patience with me. Actually, you still do. 

I can't remember everything, but I do remember an incident involving a giant plastic egg, little bits of paper and glue. Then glue, everywhere. Then the teacher finishing my project for me. I guess I was too klutzy for her. 

So, yeah, it wasn't the best thing for that year. I don't recall any major problems in fourth grade with the teacher, though. I just remember the dread I felt when I learned who the teacher was going to be. 

If I may, let me skip ahead to later in 1979. The beginning of fifth grade was the exact opposite. I heard stories of the mean teacher from fifth grade. It wasn't looking good. I was terrified. But, I got lucky, as a new teacher came in that year, too. 

It was a great set-up. He was just out of school, and not jaded and tired of kids yet. I think it was one of my favorite years of school. Really. 

First off, he got us all to buy enough books through the Scholastic Book Club to get an 8-track player for the room. For you young ones out there, and 8-track was similar to a cassette, only much bigger and always had the best song on the album split up right in the middle. Seriously, the song would fade out, the player would change tracks, and it would fade back in. It was great! We listened to a lot of music during lunchtime. I brought in my sister's Cheap Trick At Budokan tape and my teacher really liked it. 

Oh, and second, I set up my teacher with my older sister. What a matchmaker I was! I swear I didn't do it for a better grade. I was just being nice. Really! 

Okay, I've gone off track enough. More stories about fifth grade later. Remind me to tell you about the kid who always wanted to give me a quarter to be his friend. 

Extra Credit: What, in your opinion, was the best thing about the 1970s, if anything?

Um...bell bottoms? Feathered hair? Oh, I know, those giant combs that people used to carry in their back pockets. That was in the 70's, right? 

So, what were you doing in 1979? 

 

Paybacks?

Yesterday Jenn called me around 2:45pm, while I was at work, and said school had called and she had to pick up our daughter. She didn't eat lunch and she said she wasn't feeling good. Never a good thing, right? Well, Jenn started to get suspicious after she got to school. Daughter seemed a little too happy to see mommy. She didn't want to be picked-up and carried as she normally does when she is sick. But, at this point, we were both willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

It didn't stay that way for real long, however. Jenn was trying to get things done for work but our daughter was too busy running around and playing. She didn't mention anything about being sick again until the topic ofschool was brought up. Jenn sent me a text message at one point that asked how a less-than-five-year-old can be such a conniver. So, either something happened at school, or she just doesn't feel like being there.

This morning she was fine until I was trying to walk out of the classroom. Not a good feeling for me, but I was getting a little irritated because I know she is playing me. Hopefully this will pass in a day or two. Being the weekend, I'm sure she will be okay by tomorrow no matter what. We are confused as to what to do about this. Do we make some kind of deal with her? Do we tell her she can't go to ice skating if she doesn't cooperate. To be honest, I don't know if either will work. Heck, she was ready to go to the doctor yesterday to get a shot for some phantom illness because it would only hurt for a minute and then she'd be able to stay home. This girls is either going to be an actor or a con artist.

The funny thing about this is I remember doing something like this back in kindergarten. We had a major test on skipping. Yes, skipping, as in skipping down the street like Dorothy, or something. It was a motor skills thing, and I had been practicing in the the basement all weekend. Then, when the time came to perform with the class, I couldn't do it. I was too klutzy. I think I might have fallen down, I'm not positive. So, when my mom came by to check on me in the gym (she used to volunteer there) I started crying. She asked if I was okay, if my stomach still hurt like it did when I went to school. I lied and said yes, just so I could go home. On the ride home, as I lay on the bench seat (who needs booster seats, or seat belts?), my mom informed me that I was not going to be able to play with my friend if my stomach hurt. She knew I was faking it. I don't remember anything after that, but I do know how to skip now. I think. It's been a while.

So, yes, my daughter has picked up another skill of mine. Great. We are in so much trouble as she gets older.

Have a hop-skipping weekend.

We were much heartier back then

Tomorrow will be the second day that school is closed due to cold weather. It's about -11F out there right now, going down to about -16F or so overnight. Maybe a bit lower. When I was a kid, back in the old days, we were never off of school because it was too cold. We walked 2 miles to school with paper bags on our feet, socks on our hands, through waist deep snow; even when it was below zero. And we liked it. Nobody cared if you lost a finger to frostbite, or a nose, or most any other appendage. (I did say most!)

Funny story about waist deep snow. Back in high school we would walk to school because the bus trip was longer than the walk and, in my opinion, any time off the bus was much better, no matter how cold. Anyway, we used to walk through this field to cut out about 1/4 of the distance to the school. At some time in late fall some construction was starting up in that open field, but it was covered up by snow for the most part. Well, one day walking home one of the guys happened to step into a foundation of one of this buildings that was covered in snow. He sunk up to his waist in snow and was pretty much trapped. We laughed at him a while before helping him out. So, yes, we did walk through waist deep snow. I wasn't lying. Well, at least one of us did.

I wonder; if I stayed outside in the cold without any gloves long enough, then I took my hand and whacked it against the car, would it shatter? You know, like that scene in Terminator 2 where the Robert Patrick terminator is in liquid nitrogen then he breaks into a million pieces? That would be kind of neat. I would be without a hand, but I'd have a nice scary story to tell the kids so they make sure to wear their gloves outside. Too much?

So, what's the point of this post? I'm not sure. But I wish work would be closed due to it being too cold outside.

Stop me if I've told this story about cold already. (I searched through the blog, but I couldn't find a reference to it.) Back in the mid-80's we had a really cold Christmas. I don't remember exactly what year it was, but my sister had an '84 Trans Am at that time. We were at my dad's house for Christmas and it was brutally cold out. It was one of those days you were afraid to kick the tire on accident, just in case it could shatter. I want to say the wind chill index was down around 50 degrees below zero. I could be wrong, and they changed the measurements for wind chill anyway, but it was close to that. What I remember most is it being so cold that my sister's car door locks wouldn't work. The key would go in, but that was it. But, somehow we were able to get the hatchback open. So, I had to climb through that to open the doors. It was fun. I felt a little bit like MacGuyver. Though he would have found a way to open the car door with some gum and a toothpick.

So, yeah, it's cold. It's winter. When do I leave for San Diego again?

Maybe we sent her to the wrong school...

Both of our kids go to a Lutheran school, which I wouldn't bring up normally, but it goes with the story. My daughter just started preschool there last week and she is doing much better than we expected.

One of the things that all preschoolers do is art projects. The other day the made door hangers. I think that is what they are called. They remind me of 'Do Not Disturb, signs from hotels, except they don't say that. They will probably make 'Keep Out' signs soon enough.

This particular hanger has a bunch of religious symbols on it. You can tell she spent a lot of time, diligently working out where the different symbols should go. There is just one problem:

Do you see the giant upside-down cross? I've been trying to imagine the teacher's expression when she saw it. There isn't much she could say since it wasn't on purpose, but it is kind of funny.

On a related note; I think I should be a hand model. What do you think?

On another related note; when I was walking our dog the other day, I swear one of the neighbors was playing the music from The Omen. It was a little creepy, and dark.