I'm working the midnights shift for the next two weeks so I'm extra cranky and irritable. Merry Christmas! Anyway, due to less sleep and messed up circadian rhythm, some things are bothering me more than usual. So let me share my complaints with you.
Let's start with the an easy one; The War on Christmas. I'm tired of hearing about this supposed problem. Is it really that big of a deal when people, or stores, say Happy Holidays when you are in the middle of at least three holidays? What about the war on Chanukah? I don't hear anyone wishing people Happy Chanukah in the stores or anything (When it is going on that is). I don't hear Jewish people complaining. You know who cares about this? The idiots on cable TV news. It's a (moderate) ratings grabber. You know, the poor people aren't going to enjoy Christmas because some one wishes them Happy Holidays. Won't somebody think of the children?
I will say this, if you are a priest or pastor and you are a little upset about how commercialized Christmas is, I'm fine with that. That makes sense to me. If you are on a cable news station, shut up already.
Moving on to a lighter topic; stupid football graphics during the games. Actually, all I'm talking about is the images of the players. (Don't even get me started on the stupid robot football player on FOX.) When did we decide it was a good idea to take the stock athlete photo and make it a moving image? I find it a little creepy when they show, what I think is a photo of the player with all his stats, and he blinks. I don't know why it bothers me, but I think it reminds me of every horror movie where someone is staring into a mirror and all of a sudden the image moves. When I was watching some of Patriots vs Green Bay game on Sunday they had a little thumbnail of Tom Brady with his stats and he suddenly licked his lips. Why didn't somebody edit that out? Who thought it was a good idea to leave that in? Oh, and what about when they have the guys do the thing where they are looking down then lift their head to look at the camera. Is this "America's Next Top Football Model?" Let's just go back to the old style "action photo" where the guys are all wearing headbands and are in the Heisman Trophy pose, okay?
I'm on a roll now.
I'd also like to complain about ear buds. I'm on of those people who have ears that can't hold the standard ear buds in. It is very annoying to sit at work and try to listen to music while working but I can't move my head at all or one of the buds will pop out. And forget about eating with them in, the chewing motion basically shoots them out of my ear. If the weren't tethered to my iPod I'd be worried they'd shoot across the room.
Today I tried to use some in-ear headphones we have. They aren't bad headphones, but they dampen so much outside noise that I can hear everything going on inside my head. I didn't realize how much noise your mouth makes when you drink water. Also, typing and not being about to hear they keys bothers me.
I have serious problems, don't I?
You know, I should stop right here. I don't want anyone to think I'm a nutcase (anymore than you already do). Besides, I have stuff to do.
Sincerely,
Grandpa Simpson
4 comments:
I'm sorry you're working the midnight shift, Mike, but I love this post.
I think those right wingers want to beat people over the head with Christmas and hate the idea of there being other holidays and people who don't believe EXACTLY what they believe.
I've seen that football thing on FOX and always wondered about it. Why would they do that? Aren't their on-air guys bad enough? Why add extra suck to their football coverage?
You're going to post more crankiness, right? I hope so.
You forgot to yell at them to get off your lawn.
I don't mind being greeted with Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Shove Off but it does make me crazy when someone "corrects" me. I don't care that they don't celebrate Christmas. I wish it would go away too. It's just something I say to be pleasant. Next time I see them, I'll try to remember to hit them with my purse instead.
Also if enough people tell me it's morning, don't be surprised if I say good morning all afternoon.
Aren't earbuds a pain? Who do they fit?
"Grandpa Simpson"? Awesome. Sorry you're having to work midnights all through the Christmas season. Will you be keeping an eye out for Santa's sleigh?
And BTW, you totally nailed that "War on Christmas" nonsense. Happy Holidays! :-D
Cookie: I'll never stop posting crankiness. I'm only getting older you know. :)
Anon: in my head I was saying to get off my lawn. Believe me. Earbuds only fit robots. That's my theory at least.
Florinda: I am off for Christmas. Actually I finish this morning (24th) then come back at 11pm on the 26th. Yay?
Holiday?! Why, you... :)
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