Pardon me, I'm busy right now

My son has been home sick for the last three days, so I haven't had much time for anything. But, after watching this video, I know how I can get some golf practice in. So, if you'll excuse me...

What?

You need this after a long night of beer and Taco Bell

I don't know what else I can say about this product. It pretty much speaks for itself.

This is perfect for any married couple. Look, it absorbs the smell of farts, what else do you need to keep your marriage alive? Nothing! I'd say 90% of failed marriages is due to the husband reeking up the bedroom. Sure, that is never put on the divorce decree, but deep down, you know it is true.

Since Mother's day is coming up, I think you need to buy the Better Marriage Blanket. It's the perfect gift for mom's nose!

Okay, I need to go eat some tacos...

My feet hurt

Apparently your feet are way more important than I thought. At least according to the fine people at Kinoki. It seems that all the heavy metals, metabolic waste, and parasites in my body are accumulating there. Silly me, I've just been cleaning my feet with soap; what I really need is Kinoki Detox Pads. That's the only way to get all that stuff out of my body.

So, if these toxins are hanging out in my hands, the pad attracts them, has them course through my whole body and get to my feet, sounds like a good idea. I guess this is good news, with these awesome pads we don't need the organs in our body that do this exact same thing. Eventually they will be useless, like the appendix, and therefore less to care for. Soon all we'll need is a heart and lungs. Isn't science awesome?

That's Incredible!

I, like 99% of the public that has TiVo, do not like to watch commercials. There is a certain type that I will stop and watch however, the "Amazing Product That You Must Own Or You Will Regret It The Rest Of Your Life" commercial. I saw one today for Mighty Putty. It has the guy that likes to talk really loudly to get your attention, you know the guy. Based on the commercial, you can throw out all your tools and your jars full of screws, nuts and bolts, buy some vials of the Mighty Putty and fix your whole house. Have a chair that the leg broke off, Mighty Putty! Hole in the drywall, Mighty Putty! Leak in the roof, Mighty Putty! Power line down in the back yard, Mighty Putty! I just watched the video again. Why did they fix the hammer with Mighty Putty to nail the two pieces of wood together? Shouldn't they just Mighty Putty (yes, I used it as a verb) the two pieces of wood together. One less step...

I hope the people at NASA have seen the commercial. Imagine how much easier it would be to use Mighty Putty to repair broken heat tiles on the space shuttle! Heck, if they just used it in the first place they would never fall off.

The best part of these kind of commercials is how they make everyone look like complete losers who can't do simple tasks with out hurting their back, or bringing the whole house down around them. Have you seen the one for the "Best TV Tray Ever" where the old lady practically has a stroke while moving the "old fashioned" TV tray in front of her? The old style didn't have awesome sliding legs. I'm surprised more deaths weren't related to those old, bulky trays. I think we need Quincy to look into some old death records -- just to be sure.